tainted
Hidden tear, secrete tears and rising fears. (Tainted)
Silent pleas, quiet screams and flowing heme.
A friendly smile, a warming brace, an evil smirk, a deadly mace.
I feel so frail, I’ll swallow my shame and burn my name.
I want no gain neither do I crave fame, but this my soul desires that the moon feels my pain and turns red ,that the sun hears my wail and gives no light, till his star goes dark, his eyes turn black and his face white.
Meeting(tainted)
It all started on a cool evening.
Mum returned quite late from the store and after having dinner went to say hello to our neighbors who pre-informed her of our pastor (friend) that came visiting.
For about 1 hour mum was having a conversation with our pastor.
The previous Sunday service was fire so they had a lot to discuss.
Her also being a deaconess didn’t make the meeting any shorter she mythicized the man.
She came back to give me a synopsis of their discussion.
Telling me how they talked (gossip) about other officials; I didn’t really care.
The next day came upon us, mum went to work.
I went to school, and we all came back in the evening.
The pastor was present again, they exchanged pleasantries and started a conversation.
After a while mum comes back to the house; calls my name “go and say hello to the man of God he wants to pray with you” she said.
This was past 8 pm.
“Good evening sir, my mum said I should come and say hello,” I said, “come inside and sit” he replied.
I went inside and he started asking me questions about my academics and what I aspired to be, I became comfortable and he came closer, he suddenly started touching my lap.
I was lost so I asked what he was doing. “Relax it is for your benefit,” he said.
Mum walked in this exact moment and everything stopped.
I tried processing what had just happened and I knew I didn’t have the most understanding mother so I kept to myself.
Chapter two
A few months passed until mom said “you were shouting in your dreams and pastor said that’s a sign of the evil one.
So he asked that you be brought for deliverance” “no!” I retorted, she told me that was the demon talking.
The D-day came and she dropped me off immediately I got off and entered his house (he lived alone) he remarked on my looks.
I still didn’t understand what was going on so I kept to myself.
He said we should pray and he held my hands after some hours he said I would need to stay for a vigil that he has contacted mom and she was happy.
He showed me to the guest room and left—I just wanted the day to be over with so I cuddled up and laid there.
Around 11 pm I felt a touch, (I remembered I locked the door) so I jumped and saw him sitting by the bed in his boxers “it is time to pray” he said, “okay sir I will join you in the praying room” I responded, “there is no need for that” he answered, we can pray here.
I was about getting up when I felt his hand pull me back “relax” he whispered.
I became worried and said I would rather stand.
His grip got firmer,” Gbos” the sound of his clenched fist against my head.
Be a good boy!” he exclaimed, he hit me a couple of times till I couldn’t scream or beg again he then proceeded to violate me when he was done he said to me “take it like a man it happened to me in seminary school too.”
He left, I felt death whisper into my ears I stayed awake all night hoping It was a dream. but the strange bodily sting said otherwise.
Atlas morning came, and mom came to pick me, “ha what happened to your head,” she asked.
“he was manifesting so he injured himself,” he answered.
I just stood there in silence, entered the car and zoomed off, “so how was the vigil are you cured?” she asked “fine” I whispered.
I couldn’t tell anyone anything.
I didn’t know how they would see me, I didn’t know who would believe a so-called pastor did that to me.
By now you should be guessing that I am a human male and I was raped 12 years ago.
inspired by a true story
Special [email protected]Igene Chrisent for his ideas and contribution
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Wow,touching and relatable
Heart touching story. The Demon we know it’s better than the angel we don’t know. The mother taught she was helping her son but unknown to her, she was pushing him towards pain and destruction. She escaped the bike to be hit by a train. Some People who call themselves men of God are actually offsprings of Satan. Wolves in sheeps clothing. The pain and evil experience suffered by the boy will always remain an emotional scar . The mother must know and apologize for him to be feal wholesome again bcos what he went through was traumatic. The so called pastor will definitely meet his waterloo. Sometimes,the thing we think is good for somebody may end up to be the source of destruction for that person. Stay safe and God bless
Wow detailed, thank you
Relatable? That’s deep
The poem is a pretty powerful one. It speaks about someone who has been abused and and has to suffer in silence about the whole experience. He trying is to tell his story but who would believe him given the fact that the pastor is worshipped as a God
No one is above the law!
Hidden tears and secret tears(the mother didn’t know about the event and all happening to the victim),rising fears(of what could happen again or another encounter with the pastor).silent pleas,quiet screams and flowing heme during the violation.The friendly smile, warminh embrace represent the nature of the title, ‘pastor’.
I think we have a winner
If only the mama could be more understanding he would have told her the first time and there would not be a need for the act to take place. Its so disheartening he had to go through this; the pain, the memories.
Excatly, we have to be able to tell our parents anything and everything.
So my interpretation of the people and story is the little boy us going through pain but he can’t telling anyone,cause they probably won’t believe him since the pastor id the culprit, so he cries in secret and goes through pain with no one to share his story with. He wished someone could know what he is going through.
Accurate
Great story!
Indeed we are living in a wicked world where people/leaders we look up to are clearly not what they seems to be. No matter the apology from the mom or pastor the stigma will always remain with the poor kid. A very deep and heartfelt story.
This is really powerful, no one touches upon male sexual abuse or even wants to think men are abused. They just dismiss it and call the victim stupid for not being able to defend himself. I’m just sad, visuals are very painful.
We live in a society…..